Every year around Christmas, my paternal family has a Christmas Party.
It is a non-religious affair since most of my relatives were not Christians until recent years. We started this event in 1987, and it has been 20 years!
The party was skewed toward a Christian theme for the last couple of years and some of us were not that comfortable with it. I felt that those sharing thingy should have a different platform as I don't feel that it is right to make other easy going people sit through it or join in with the church choir etc. The good intention does not work if it was intended for good, but for unprepared attendees, it is rather invading. Hence, we discussed and felt that it should remain a non-religious one as we have to respect the choices of the now minority non-Christians.
Whatever the case, the feedback didn't go down very well with my aunts and I felt quite caught in the middle of a disagreement. Since my aunts were still very much keen to have the party, we went ahead with it yesterday, though we were somewhat missing my cousins & the children.
I wondered why I didn't blog about this annual party though it ought to be quite a significant event and also, I have many pictures collected over the years.
There must be something I didn't look forward to talking about I guess, but now this will change. I used to care too much about having everybody enjoy themselves, I think I have forgotten to enjoy myself. So this will also change. I will also care about myself. That is why I decided not to invite my freinds anymore so that I don't have to entertain them and I can just be free to roam around. (sorry friends!). (oh with the exception to Pamela, cos she is one person I don't have to worry about! I can trust that she will make herself at home), so Pam, next year ok?
okay, the title is making amends. So, what is this about?
Amends- Apology / Repentance / Regret / Sorrow / Reparation
I must tell you, one of my aunts, she was a troubled person with mainly anger issues.
She was stubborn, hot headed and often downright unreasonable & non-negotiable.
She used to have this friend of hers who was like a buddy- 妹仔, they were closed like BFF, best friends forever type and had been hanging out like for 7 years before one of the fits my aunt had, the friendship ended. 妹仔 was almost like a family friend but we all knew too well that the problem was with my aunt.
So this was like in 1986.
Fast forward to 2008, voola! My aunt relented and made amends with her old friend. She invited 妹仔 to the Christmas party and 妹仔 came!
wow, what a spot. If it were me, I may not have showed up.
I mean, it is like how many donkey years where it was being left off, what's the point of continuing? But I am glad not everyone thinks like me. Or there will be less reunions.
I salute to my aunt for coming to terms and making amends. This must be a feat for her I'm sure and it was all worth it. That fuzzy feeling of forgiving and foregoing, oh it was kind of mushy. Good thing 妹仔 was a good sport and I must say I have a lot to learn from both my aunt & 妹仔! I think my ego is bigger than I thought it was, I may have been too proud to make amends. Many times, I would just let go. Oh how I protect my fragile pride. How many times I would not tell someone I was hurt by their actions / comments and how many times I chose to just shut off, let go, move on without them. How egoistic am I?
So ladies & gentleman, if you do find a need to make amends, tell me if you could do it or tell me how you did it for I do have to learn. ="/
It is a non-religious affair since most of my relatives were not Christians until recent years. We started this event in 1987, and it has been 20 years!
The party was skewed toward a Christian theme for the last couple of years and some of us were not that comfortable with it. I felt that those sharing thingy should have a different platform as I don't feel that it is right to make other easy going people sit through it or join in with the church choir etc. The good intention does not work if it was intended for good, but for unprepared attendees, it is rather invading. Hence, we discussed and felt that it should remain a non-religious one as we have to respect the choices of the now minority non-Christians.
Whatever the case, the feedback didn't go down very well with my aunts and I felt quite caught in the middle of a disagreement. Since my aunts were still very much keen to have the party, we went ahead with it yesterday, though we were somewhat missing my cousins & the children.
I wondered why I didn't blog about this annual party though it ought to be quite a significant event and also, I have many pictures collected over the years.
There must be something I didn't look forward to talking about I guess, but now this will change. I used to care too much about having everybody enjoy themselves, I think I have forgotten to enjoy myself. So this will also change. I will also care about myself. That is why I decided not to invite my freinds anymore so that I don't have to entertain them and I can just be free to roam around. (sorry friends!). (oh with the exception to Pamela, cos she is one person I don't have to worry about! I can trust that she will make herself at home), so Pam, next year ok?
okay, the title is making amends. So, what is this about?
Amends- Apology / Repentance / Regret / Sorrow / Reparation
I must tell you, one of my aunts, she was a troubled person with mainly anger issues.
She was stubborn, hot headed and often downright unreasonable & non-negotiable.
She used to have this friend of hers who was like a buddy- 妹仔, they were closed like BFF, best friends forever type and had been hanging out like for 7 years before one of the fits my aunt had, the friendship ended. 妹仔 was almost like a family friend but we all knew too well that the problem was with my aunt.
So this was like in 1986.
Fast forward to 2008, voola! My aunt relented and made amends with her old friend. She invited 妹仔 to the Christmas party and 妹仔 came!
wow, what a spot. If it were me, I may not have showed up.
I mean, it is like how many donkey years where it was being left off, what's the point of continuing? But I am glad not everyone thinks like me. Or there will be less reunions.
I salute to my aunt for coming to terms and making amends. This must be a feat for her I'm sure and it was all worth it. That fuzzy feeling of forgiving and foregoing, oh it was kind of mushy. Good thing 妹仔 was a good sport and I must say I have a lot to learn from both my aunt & 妹仔! I think my ego is bigger than I thought it was, I may have been too proud to make amends. Many times, I would just let go. Oh how I protect my fragile pride. How many times I would not tell someone I was hurt by their actions / comments and how many times I chose to just shut off, let go, move on without them. How egoistic am I?
So ladies & gentleman, if you do find a need to make amends, tell me if you could do it or tell me how you did it for I do have to learn. ="/
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